Burn Us Up

So many things to learn from scripture! If only I would spend more time digging through the Word. I want to share quickly some things the Lord has been teaching me this week through His Word.

First, Job 2:10 "Shall we accept good from God and not trouble?"

Second, Isaiah 49:8 "In the time of My favor I will answer you and in the day of salvation I will help you."

Third, I was listening to a song by Shane & Shane about the story of Shadrack, Meshack and Abendigo. Their story of faith really spoke to me the other day. The take-away for me was, "will I allow God to 'burn us' in the fire of affliction? Will I give way to His desires, even when things are super uncomfortable? Will I walk through the fire with their full-faith trusting that He is able to save us from affliction?" The end of their story is comforting too, because they are confident God is able yet they say the very prayer of Jesus Christ on the cross, "not my will but Yours be done." Can I say that and actually mean it?

Finally, Sunday Dr. Youseff continued his sermon series about Freedom From Fear. Here are a couple of things I've been wrestling over the past day or so.

- Am I calling upon the Lord for daily salvation from hard times? Not to be taken from them, though that's human, but am I daily crying out for His help, His strength, His endurance OR am I struggling along in my own strength?

- Am I praying fear out and praying faith in?

- Am I learning to claim God's power in my life?

If I wasn't willing to be honest, this blog would be a total waste of time. Frankly, I have not been willing to accept trouble from God. I have sat in the corner with my eyes squinted shut, just waiting for this to be over -- like the scared disciples in the boat during that storm. He was right there with them, in the storm, and yet, they were still afraid! I'm no different. He's here with me too and yet I'm saying, "Lord, why are you sleeping?? I'm about to drown. Get up and save me!" "Praise be to the Lord, to God, our Savior, who daily bears our burdens" Ps. 68:19 I'm not alone and He's not sleeping.

I have not consistently sought the Lord's hand, to learn from these trials. I have not been willing to be burned in the furnace of God's desire. Sure, I have prayed that with pretty words, but I haven't always meant it.

Why am I doing this? Why am I choosing to live a sub-par life? Because of the cross, I was not left alone, to struggle through life alone, in my own strength. I was created for greatness! I can do all things, including infertility, through Christ who gives me strength. I know this in my head and even my heart, but I have failed to be transformed by the power of the Holy Spirit and actually live it. I haven't called upon Him daily to be my strength, be my portion, to give me eyes to see and then do His will.

I am not consistently praying faith in. Sure, here and there but not daily -- even on a good day! I have prayed with the underlying thought, "well, I walk through it when I get enough faith." But faith only comes after I'm willing to take the first step.

I'm not sure why I'm posting all this. It's definitely not for sympathy. I guess just to vent. Regardless, I need to step it up. I need to be on my knees seeking the Lord's will, strength and endurance -- without ceasing, on good and bad days.

Father, create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. I feel like Job, going on this past week about how I've been held-out on. Yet, just like Job, I am not all-knowing. I am not the creator and sustainer of life. Your word tells us in Ps. 77, 'Your ways are Holy God; what god is as great as our God? You are the One who performs miracles; You display Your power among the people.' Forgive me for demanding my ways, in my timing, in my plan. How could I possibly know what's best for me? I'm embarrassed to see that I have only been willing to accept the good and not also the troubles. Have I not learned that no discipline seems pleasant at the time, but later produces a harvest of righteousness? Help me to welcome hardship, knowing righteousness is on the other side. Help me to remember Your words, 'never will I leave you; never will I forsake you'. Father, I can't lie. I, like Hannah, desire a child that I might give him to the Lord. Lord, I know nothing is impossible with You. I trust You. I trust Your time and Your favor. Nothing good do you withhold from those whose walk is blameless. So cause me to walk blamelessly. I pray all this through the power of Your Holy name!