Merry Christmas Grey!

Merry Christmas sweet boy!! Look...you made front and center of our Christmas card (thanks to Jason Pendley photography)! I love that sweet little profile of yours.

What a difference a year makes! I've thought so many times about how sad your daddy and I were last year. Looking back, it was good that we were so sad at Christmas. It forced us to seek help from a wonderful doctor you will meet soon after you're born. As you get older, I hope you'll see that God uses valleys to take us to the mountain tops.

Grey, I hope you grow up to know just how wanted and loved you are!! Your daddy and I prayed and prayed for you and longed for the day we would be able to feel you kicking in my belly. Now that you're in there, I thank the Lord for each day I get with you. We love sitting and watching you kick my belly. Can you believe we can actually see you kicking?? One day, you'll know what it's like to be so excited for something that you can hardly stand the wait. That's how we feel. We count down each day until you get here. I find myself permanently resting my hands on my belly to feel you move around and kick...which you do a lot! You are such a little wiggle worm!! You really are our perfect miracle baby!

I can't wait to start telling you about Jesus' birth. I've gained such a bigger understanding this year of what a huge sacrifice His birth and life was. Grey, He loves you so much that He was born to die for you, me and daddy...and all of human kind. This is the most amazing love! Do you know that He knew you before you were born? And that He loved you with an everlasting love before He even created you?? As much as I love you, He loves you more. It's the most perfect, yet complex love you'll ever know. I pray all the time that your little heart will be sensitive to God's leading in your life. Make no mistake, sweet boy, He has a plan for your life!

We have had so much fun with you this Christmas! You and I gave daddy the cutest box of yellow jacket stuff. I know you're going to love that blanket! You really do have the funniest, best daddy and I know you're going to be big buddies. I can't wait to see you guys snuggling, watch football or basketball, reading books, and building forts. He builds some pretty good forts!

You and daddy gave me this SUPER cute coat for you! I simply cannot wait to see you in this next fall/winter! You're going to be my little snuggle bunny!

This was a great Christmas with you little guy! We love you so and can't wait until you get here!

I love you!

Mommy

What's in a name...

Boy names are hard! Geez. I feel like it took us forever, BUT I'm proud to say we finally came to a name for our sweet baby boy.

Robert Grey Jefferson!! ...and we'll call him Grey!

Robert is Curtis' first name. Grey has such a fantastic daddy and I was kind of pushy on using one of Curtis' names and he didn't resist too much. ;) Coincidentally, Robert is also family name on both sides.

Grey is a name that Curtis suggested and we both loved!! We were back and forth between two names, but Grey just really fit!

So, Grey he is! And he's doing great. We went to the doctor last week and his heart rate was great. Dr. H said to us again, "I know I've told you this a lot, but he's got a really strong heartbeat. Heartbeats like this don't just happen. He definitely gets an A+!" Maybe Grey will run like his momma!

I've only gained 6 lbs altogether... not sure how because I'm eating everything. My blood pressure is great...pretty low...but it's always been low since I'm a runner. Finally found a sweet I can't resist, rice krispee treats! Yummy!

So thankful that everything is healthy during this pregnancy. Thank you SO much for praying for us and please continue to do so.

Have I told you how excited I am about this boy?!?! I just can't wait to see him!!

P.S. Enjoy this little photo of the sweetest baby girl, ever!! We met Ashly and Denny Friday night for Married Life Live. BUT, before we left, I had to get in some snuggle time. I could just eat her! She smiles all the time and I just love her little face right before she says something. Such a sweet blessing! I couldn't be any happier for them!

Half-way

I cannot believe I'm already 20 weeks! (...I'll actually be 21 weeks tomorrow) I feel like the pregnancy is really flying by! My sweet boy is growing so much and his kicks are getting stronger each day it seems. My bond with him is really growing too! I love this baby boy so much I just can't wait to see him. My favorite time with him is apple juice in the morning. He just kicks away!

We're getting SO close to a name! I'm so excited to finally share that. Stay tuned...

No real progress on the nursery. The weeks are ticking away though. The plan is to have everything set up by the end of the second trimester. So we'll see.

I'm feeling great! Only one new food craving: sweet tea with lemon. YUM! I used to hate lemon in tea but it is the highlight of my day...my one caffeinated drink. I still love all things healthy...salads, raw veggies, cherrios, yogurt, nuts, and Willy's (it can be healthy). I have really no desire for sweets. This is the biggest change for me because I have the BIGGEST sweet tooth. I have had hot chocolate, but that's about all.

Here's my 20 week belly shot. So fun to watch and feel him grow!

Cheeseburger In Paradise: part II

I had an eventful week last week. Curtis was out of town, so mom and I went to Longhorn for dinner. I got a burger because I had just read that hamburgers are a great source of iron during pregnancy. Why not, right?

Oh boy! Let's just say food poisoning is not fun!

Seriously, I was really sick. I called my mom really early that morning to come over and help me. Called the doctor and they said to give it until noon and try to keep some liquids down. Couldn't do it. So, 9:30 a.m. we headed down to Northside Hospital for an overnight stay complete with four bags of fluids, IV nausea meds, round the clock monitoring of my little guy, and two "clear" meals. Curtis landed just in time to spend the night with me. I felt so bad for him that he was gone all week and had to sleep in a hospital recliner. But, he was such a sport. He said, "it'll be fun! Like a resort get-away, just me and you!"

My friend Tracy once said to me, "being a mom is like having an open wound". It is so true! I worry about my little guy anyway, but I was really scared for him. I have never been or relieved to hear his little heartbeat!

Once again, God was so faithful! He's totally fine. About 20 minutes after they put the IV in he was swimming wildly, kicking and moving all around. I was totally wiped out for the better part of four days, but feeling much better now.

The hospital stay was not all in vein, Curtis was finally able to feel our sweet guy kick at 20 weeks! It was awesome! His face lit up and the hugest smile flashed across his face. I think it was such a connecting point for him. Now, he tries to feel him a lot, talks to him more and prays over him. I was so thrilled for him!

Why the title "...:part II"? Because right before Curtis proposed I met some friends at Cheeseburger in Paradise where I got my first experience with food poisoning. Not fun. I'm shocked he still married me! ;)

Ground beef, it's been real -- but it's time to part for a long, long, long time!!

Rivals At Heart

Curtis and I ventured down to his old college stompin' grounds for the UGA v. GT game. It was a lot of fun! We tailgated with our friends Kevin and Joanna and their crew right along the area where the players come through...not sure what that's called at Tech...the same as the Dawg Walk. Anyway, Kevin managed to get us some really great tickets too.


I had a hard time finding the right Georgia attire with my ever growing belly...so I had to just settle on my red fleece. Let's just say it got the point across! I managed to get booed by a HUGE crowd of Tech fans, including the band and even had an 80 year old lady cuss me out. It was eventful!






Currently, no Tech game is complete for me without a stop at The Varsity for a yummy hot dog, fries and onion rings. I can't even believe I typing that. Everyone at the tailgate got a huge kick out of my pregnancy craving.

Curtis and Kevin

The game was great! ...of course it was, Georgia won! The BIGGEST perk of the entire night, aside from the win of course, was that they actually have a Willy's inside the stadium. Yes, you read this right. Willy's inside the stadium! Could this pregnant girl be any happier?? I have always loved Willy's, but I REALLY love Willy's pregnant! In fact, when we found out we were pregnant Curtis said, "you're finally going to get a Willy's belly"...which led us to call the baby Willy. NO, we're not naming him Willy!

In addition to all this fun, two girls managed to get into a fight four seats down from me. Yes, two grown women in a fist fight...OH and they were Tech fans. I believe the term is "ghetto", right?

Having a house divided really is fun! Especially when your team wins...Go Dawgs!!

My Cup Runneth Over!

Oh, what a difference a year makes! I was reflecting this week about what was going on with us a year ago around Thanksgiving. This post pretty much sums it up... I was really so depressed and stuck in the saddest fog last year.

I remember typing that post, thinking to myself "I'll write that I'm thankful for this infertility, but I'll never actually feel it." Boy was I wrong! I know that sounds crazy, but I really am thankful for that time in the valley. We serve a MIGHTY God! God was so very faithful to me with His encouragement through the Word, my sweet husband, family, and fantastic friends.

I have an endless list of things I'm thankful for this year. My Father in heaven and His gift of salvation! How great is His love for me and you! His patience that endured a lot of stubborn lessons with me. His mercies in providing for us in a million ways. Lord Jesus, Your love is better than life!

My fantastic husband! I could go on and on about how blessed I am to have him. He is really the backbone of this family and I just couldn't have done this last year without him.

Obviously, I'm so thankful for my sweet baby boy squirming in my belly! I am truly overwhelmed by how much I already love him. I cannot wait for April to get here! I'm dying to snuggle him, kiss his little cheeks, stare at his sweet little face, and tell him how long I waited for him. I already feel like I'm getting to know him. I never understood when mom's talked about the bond you feel even when they're in the womb, but I totally get it now. Every morning I drink apple juice while I'm debating over breakfast and he loves it! It's like he's awake, happy and kicking. In the car, he always does tons of little kicks and punches. At night, when we watch TV he is super active and usually does a good full turn. It's crazy. We posted his little ultrasound picture on the refrigerator and I just love starring at that little profile.

This year has not been perfect, but my God has been faithful through it all!

My cup runneth over!

Happy Thanksgiving my sweet little man! Thankful just doesn't seem like enough to describe how overjoyed I am that you are here. ...your daddy too. I love all your little kicks and turns! I'm dying for daddy to be able to feel you going at it...hopefully soon. Daddy and I were being silly this morning singing Christmas songs to you and you just kicked away. I'm also excited to report that you kick wildly after I eat Willy's...which is a lot...as you know. I love you sweet baby boy and I can't wait to kiss your sweet face! So many people are praying for you and are waiting anxiously for your spring arrival. You are God's biggest blessing to us!

Awareness, Trust and Praise...

My friend Ashly just did a post about being aware. Read it if you haven’t already…great post. While I haven’t personally lost any babies, being close to two friends who have lost babies too close to their due date has made me so very aware.

However, I’m aware in a different way then she wrote about. I find that I’m more aware of the cruel realities of life. Every pregnancy doesn’t end in a living baby. Loss is real. Every couple doesn’t get the joy of conceiving their own child. Infertility is real. Some marriages do fall apart. Divorce is real.

Over the past 18 weeks of pregnancy, the Lord has really been diligent to show me a stockpile of areas of awareness where I’m simply lacking trust.

I think there is a wide-spread belief and misconception that would say, “well her prayer has been answered; now, the ‘hardship’ is over.” Yes, I was finally pregnant! But, along with that new blessing came new, harder areas of trust.

During the weeks I was so sick, I was feeling a bit guilty because I wasn't spending much time in the Word. (Frankly, I wasn't spending time doing much of anything.) But, I did spend a lot of time praying. I was reflecting one day over the requests I had. Sadly, I realized that all my requests were fear-based requests. Not that they all weren't valid things to lay before for the Lord – they were. But, it wasn't prayer. It was like a dumping ground. "...and I'm scared of this happening, so I'm praying for this..." My mind raced with fears and possible realities that brought forth new requests.

I hated that. Why didn’t I trust more fully?

Before we got pregnant, we had every genetic test done. After we got pregnant, we had the few tests that were left done. Each and every test came back negative. Yet, Wednesday morning before the ultrasound, I got so nervous that I actually got sick. I couldn’t help but wonder if we’d hear some kind of devastating news that would dash the dream of actually being able to hold this sweet miracle and take him home. Something that would lead us to say, “well, it was good while it lasted.”

Laying there, looking up at the screen at my perfectly healthy, active, sweet baby I saw specific answers to prayer. God has been abundantly faithful to me, even when I haven’t trusted, believed or rested in His shadow. I prayed to get pregnant. Done. I prayed for a boy. Done. I prayed for an active baby. Definitely DONE! I prayed for my placenta to be in the back so I could feel his movements. Done.

Hence the tears during the entire ultrasound. I left the office with a HUGE sense of peace and an equally large since of shame.

Sarah, is He not the God of the universe? The very One who creates and sustains life? …even the very life kicking, flipping and squirming around in your belly?? Is He not ultimately the One in control?

He not only heard my cries, but He faithfully answered each one and gave more that I didn’t even pray for. I’ve been feeling this active boy since almost 15 weeks…that was just an added bonus!

Why, then, do fears continue to creep in? Fears of flu, miscarriage, that loss could still very much be in the story lines for us… that things could still be too good to be true…

I despise fear!

Fears creep in because simply because I’m totally and utterly depraved, fallen, sinful – and, ultimately eternally dependant on a Sovereign God. None of these fears surprise Him. I don’t even believe He’s disappointed in this irrational behavior. After all, He created me and knew me before I was even formed – there is no element of surprise.

No, I really do believe that while these fears are completely sinful, He is still using them for His glory – to reveal a little more of Himself to me. His perfect love is still faithfully pursuing me, even when I’m not pursuing Him in return. He’s still revealing His boundless, perfect love – even when I’m frozen in fear by Satan’s lies.

The faith walk comes in when I decide what I’m going to do in those thoughts or moments of fear. How can I know Him more in this moment of anxiety? Praise. Simply being thankful – even for the fears because they drive me to Him. I must daily, momentarily renew my mind with His promises, remembering His past faithfulness and praising Him accordingly. God has been good. So very, very good. I am not meant to handle the “what if’s” in life…the future is too much to take in. Thankfully, His grace is sufficient for today and His mercies are new each morning! Praise the Lord!

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43:18-19

Father, give me grace to trust You more. My head knows all these things, but I’m often too caught up in my fears to move beyond them. Help me to remember Your past faithfulness and praise You for what You are sure to do! Grow my faith during this pregnancy. I thank You that You are bigger than any of these fears, that You hold this little life in Your hands. Father, you know I long to see this sweet baby boy full-term, kicking with life and screaming loud cries of life. Lord, keep us healthy and protect us until that awesome day. I trust Your will!

It's a BOY!

Yay!! Can you believe your eyes?? We sure couldn't. Who came up with the old wife's tail of saying, "if your sick, you're having a girl"?

I cannot describe to you how surprised and elated we are that we're having a boy! Everyone kept telling us girl, so we just assumed it probably was. Certainly, we would have been equally as thrilled with a girl...don't even get me started on how people get upset with the gender baby they're having!

In the midst of our infertility, I would see pictures of Curtis as a baby and get so sad, wishing I had one of those little guys. Sitting there today in the ultrasound room, I cried throughout the 30 minute screening looking at my perfect, sweet, active boy. Why? It's just really sinking in that we're really having a baby. Plus, there were three prayer requests I prayed often before and after we got pregnant: 1. for a little Curtis 2. for an active baby in the womb 3. that my placenta would be in the back, so I could feel his little active self. Each one was answered! I've been working on a post on how the Lord has been working on my trust issues...hopefully that will come soon. God has been so faithful with even the smallest details and I have been so slow to trust. I hate that. But more on that later...

I'm totally in love with this sweet little man! He was SO active today -- rolling around, kicking, punching, doing flips. It was so awesome! Oh, and it looks like he might be a thumb sucker. He had his hands in and out of his mouth almost the whole time. Love that!

The perinatologist thinks he might be a big boy, so I'll go back at 28 weeks to size this little guy up and come up with a birth plan. This was a relief. After all, I'm only 5' 4", Curtis is 6' 2", I was 9 lbs. 6 oz. and he was nearly 9 lbs. It's that making for a large baby and uncomfortable momma!

Anyway, thanks for praying for us! It's been a great anniversary today!

The greatest love!

A captured moment of Curtis saying something completely...well, Curtis!

Today Curtis and I are celebrating three years of marriage! I can hardly believe it! It seems like just last year we got married. I have to tell you, there is something really fantastic about marrying someone you were best friends with before you dated! Curtis and I have hit a really awesome place in our marriage. Each year, I think I couldn't love him more than I do now -- and each year, I'm astonished at how deep the "roots" are growing. From the beginning, we've prayed that the Lord would bind our marriage together and He really has. God is so faithful! We really do have the greatest love...

Curtis -- I look back at pictures of us when we were just friends and I'm amazed at how far we've come. Before you came along, I couldn't imagine loving someone this much. Now, you have become such a huge part of my life, that I just couldn't imagine one aspect of it not having you! I love you with every fiber of my being and I'm so proud of you and thankful for your sacrifice and work to provide for this family! I always knew you'd be a fantastic daddy and I can't wait to tell this sweet baby so. I will love you always and forever!

Baby makes the belly grow round!

Last Monday, we went to the doctor for a routine 17-week check up. All is well! Dr. H is still really impressed with how strong the heartbeat is. It was beating around 150 to 155. Based on the heartbeat, he's still predicting a baby girl. I've only gained 3 lbs. which is to be expected since I was so sick. Just be forewarned that I may or may not post weight gain as the pregnancy progresses! ;)

I'm feeling the baby move quite a bit! It's so awesome. From the time we found out we were pregnant, I prayed for a really active baby. So I love that I felt the baby early at nearly 15 weeks! The other day at work, I felt it turn around. Crazy! One night we picked up a pizza for dinner and when Curtis got in the car it smelled so good. Right as I was smelling the pizza the baby kicked a few times like he was hungry too! So funny... In the morning, I can lay on my back and feel the outline of where the baby is. I poke around in there to say "good morning" and you can see it move out of the way. It's pretty crazy.

This little squirmy worm is going through quite a growth spurt! I actually think there is no mistaking that I'm pregnant now. At night, I really feel the muscles pulling and stretching.

Christmas comes Wednesday for us! Yay! The long-awaited ultrasound is Wednesday morning. It's already a super special day because we'll be celebrating our third anniversary, too! Here are some growing baby shots... Be sure to place your baby guess before Wednesday!

8 weeks

16 weeks

18 weeks

The Baby's Room

Saturday, Curtis and I went out shopping for baby furniture and it was really so much fun! By the way, let me just say that Curtis even missed half of the Tech game...and he forgot to TiVo it. Husband of the year!


Anyway, we had the best time! Shopping for furniture really makes it all seem real. I pretty much knew where I wanted to get the crib and stuff -- though I didn't know exactly what I wanted. My friend Tracy introduced me to the owners of The Baby's Room in Kennesaw. We all actually ran the Peachtree Road Race together. Anyway, super fun, nice people. Before we got there, we stopped by Babies R Us just to look. I didn't really think I'd find anything, but I was pleasantly surprised that I found the rocker I wanted. Being short, has it's disadvantages in the world of furniture, so I really wanted something that "fit" me, but something Curtis could be comfortable in too.

Anyway, I'm so excited about some of the stuff we picked out! I posted some pictures below to share.

Call me crazy, but I'm going to do kind of gender neutral room. I think I'd rather spend the energy into the big boy or big girl room. Plus they just aren't in there very long.

This little dresser is kind of the central piece. It came from the Women's Exchange in Memphis, Tenn. My grandmother worked there and my aunt currently works there and runs the sewing room. LOVE their stuff! She saw this long before I got pregnant and we decided it was a must have! A side note, my aunt is making the going home outfit, which is super special to me because I have tubs of smocked dresses she made for me and my cousins.

This is the crib we picked out. I really love this crib! We'll get it in an espresso stain. Anyway, I debated back and forth about getting a convertible or not and just decided to go ahead. Oddly enough, before I found this picture I had decided the room would look like this with the paneling on the bottom. However, the bottom in our room will be cream and the top green.

This is the rocker we picked out...it also comes with a rocking ottoman. Oh and the chair rocks and swivels. This chair is seriously heaven! Nothing else compared in comfort. And the real bonus was that it fit both of us perfectly.

This is the exact infant car seat, color and all. We decided on the Britax simply because the safety features are too great to pass up. It's the only seat with side impact protection. While it's bulky, the bar in the front of the base keeps it from pushing up in case of an accident. Also, I liked that the baby can stay in it up to 30 lbs.

I probably wouldn't have even looked at this stroller, but I wasn't sold on the one that went with the carrier. It was super heavy and HUGE. This is the City Mini by Baby Jogger. It holds the carrier, only weighs 16 lbs. and can collapse with one hand. SOLD! I will get a Jog stroller for running, but I haven't totally decided on which one exactly.

Anyway, that's where we are so far! We'll probably order the rocker soon and the crib has to be ordered by mid-to-end November. Fun stuff!!

Best email ever...

I got up this morning and checked my email. A sweet little someone sent me the best email last night...

"So excited for our date tomorrow! Will u snuggle me?
Love,Macy Brooks"

Love that sweet baby face! The is Ashly's sweet miracle baby... and our sweet baby's soon-to-be best friend or girlfriend! ;)

One Trimester Down...Two More To Go!

Tomorrow is 14 weeks and I didn't want too much time to pass without documenting some fun facts from the first trimester -- at least for myself. First, I can't even believe I writing that I'm in my second trimester. Time is flying by! Even though I haven't felt great, I've sincerely enjoyed every minute with this baby. Every night I thank the Lord for where ever I am...like tonight, 13 weeks and 7 days! Each day really is a gift and I'm still super overwhelmed with our blessing. Because I can't feel the baby kick, I still have days where I think, "I can't believe there is a baby in my belly!" I call Curtis all the time and say, "Guess what???" and he'll say "what?" and I say, "I'm pregnant!!"...or "I gotta baby in my belly!!" It's been fun!

As I've written in the past, I started getting sick at a mere 5 weeks and I'm FINALLY seeing the light at the end of the tunnel -- just 9 weeks later. I won't go so far as to say I'm over being sick, but I have had 4 full days of feeling great. I have a new appreciation for people who are chronically sick! Thank you Lord for good health!

I've got a nice little belly working here, but no weight gain just yet. I do plan to do belly shots, but then only one I have is at 8 weeks. I started showing pretty early, which concerned me, but my doctor assured me it was because I "don't have much flesh for it to push through" -- sounds like a compliment, so I'll take it. I'm definitely in maternity pants full-time unless I wear a bella band (which is not that often because I don't love it).

My appetite is back in full swing. Which is a welcomed sight! I haven't had anymore hotdogs, but who knows what the future holds. I'm craving fun and strange things like, carrots and ranch. In fact, one night I got sick and 20 minutes later downed a bag of carrots. This week I bought two bags of carrots to cut up as snacks and it's not even Wednesday and I've almost eaten them all. So strange. I love salads right now -- especially the side salads at Chick-Fil-A. What's even more crazy, I liked them all through my sick phase too. Apple juice is simply divine! I also LOVE cereal right now too. Mainly plain cereals like regular Cheerios and Rice Krispees. I did randomly buy a box of Honeycombs?! I'm convinced a Happy Meal can cure the sickest days! Craziest part of this is that I NEVER eat McDonald's. The only food aversion I've had is spaghetti sauce and that is still the case. Oh and I had my first warm Krispy Kream last week and it was oh so yummy!

I've had heartburn and acid reflux since I think 6 weeks. Nothing insane, but definitely there most days after dinner. My mom had the same thing right up until she delivered. So, I already carry a little bottle of Tums.

My sleep pattern is pretty much changed to a series of naps. I can't seem to make it longer than two hours at night without needing a potty break.

I'm dying to get back to the gym to walk or do some sort of exercise. NOT because I'm crazy about weight gain, but because I'm dying to be active. No I will not be running, so need to post "no running" comments. :) I just don't have a ton of energy yet. But still to come, I'm hoping.

I have terrible eczema on my legs. When I traveled doing PR in NASCAR, I was told I had stress-induced eczema. Since I quit and made a conscious effort to reduce my stress, it has gotten better. However, the winter is always harder. This winter is already going to be the hardest because I can't use my lotion. Seems silly to pray about this, but I'm praying it doesn't get much worse.

I have not been super emotional. Maybe edgy about eating and women who are openly constant complainers about being pregnant. I get this all the time working with the public. I'll leave you with this one comment from a woman who explained that while her baby was planned, she just wasn't excited about it. I wanted so badly to just fly back with something about my friends who have buried their babies, but I just had to walk away. This has been some serious self-discipline in the area of holding my tongue!

Okay, enough is enough. My next post is going to be about some specific things the Lord graciously took the time to point out to me while I was sick and bed-bound. It's kind of funny because it's almost been like He was saying, "While you're down for the count, there are a couple of things I've been wanting to go over with you." Looking forward to sharing soon...

Beats of Life!

Had a great appointment today! Thank you for praying! I went in, he felt my belly and put the doppler right on our little sweetness. It was so awesome to hear that sound again! I felt terrible this morning, but all that melted away with that sound. We had good strong beats that ranged between 155 - 165. It was 170 at 8 weeks. My doctor said he hadn't heard good strong heartbeats that early in a while. So, he was thrilled and I was one proud momma! He also put his prediction in that it's a girl. He's been at it a while, so he just might be right. We'll see...

My blood pressure was great and I have not gained a single pound, which quite frankly is no surprise to me! I was told not to worry -- that will come in time. My sweet hubby said, "Don't worry hon, you'll tank up in no time." Thanks honey. The prediction every pregnant woman wants to hear! ;)

I go back again in four weeks for a heartbeat check and more blood work. I'll be almost 17 weeks. Then, the next week or so (18 or 19 weeks) I have to go see a perinatologist. This is technically a high-risk doctor. He will do a 3D ultra-sound to look at the vanishing twin and make sure that's completely gone and not causing any complications to our other little guy. My doctor totally suspects it is gone and fine, but he wants to be totally sure. I'm totally overjoyed for that appointment!! I'm so impatient and already dying to see what the baby looks like. I'm sure we'll also get to find out what we're having. Yay!!

My mom got to go with me today and hear the heartbeats. It was great! She hasn't ever had the opportunity to do that. After we went to go shop for some maternity clothes. Strange that my belly is ever expanding, yet I haven't gained weight. We met up with Ashly and Miss Macy B -- mommy is ever so slim and little princess is filling out quite nicely AND SMILING! I love it!

I have a lot I want to post about...in keeping with my pre-baby posts. The Lord has really been at work and I look forward to sharing just how in time. Thank you again for sharing in our joy by praying!!

Blessed beyond measure!

Don't you love this picture?? This is on our honeymoon in the Bahamas...so fitting for Curtis.

I have to take the time to brag on how truly fantastic my husband is! Curtis has been so supportive through this whole pregnancy, especially the last 8 weeks of sickness. I have really been sick. Yet, he hasn't skipped a beat. On numerous occasions, he has come into the bathroom, while I'm getting sick, to hold my hair or put a wet washcloth on my neck and back. He runs out for just about anything I think might "cure" my nausea. He's taken on laundry, housework and food -- in addition to his other chores and all while working and traveling -- without even the first complaint. He always calls from work to ask if there is something he can do or bring home. He prays over us, even when I'm too sick, and I love it. I just can't think of anything I would ask him to do different. So many women have to forge ahead in the world of all-day (not just morning) sickness alone because guys aren't naturally super nurturing. Not me.

I am blessed beyond measure!!

RCJ -- you are the love of my life! I'm blessed to call you my husband and thrilled that you're willingly walking through every detail of this pregnancy with me. I knew I was lucky to get you when we got married, but everything since that day has been an added bonus! I will love you always and forever!

Doctor, doctor!

Well, tomorrow at 8 a.m. I head to the doctor for a 12 week check-up. I'm SO thrilled to go! I knew, once I heard that little heartbeat for the first time, waiting four weeks to hear it again would seem like an eternity. I was right!

I'm a little nervous because I think they'll try to use the doppler for the first time. I wonder if my heart will be beating at all while they search?? I'm thinking no. Please pray that they would find it right away!

On another note, I've gotten a lot of sweet calls, notes and emails from everyone checking in on me. It has been a rough 8 weeks of pure sickness. No complaints, it's just been a big adjustment to the normal active, running, doing me. But I have really felt the Lord's pressence even in the days where I'm bed-bound. Some days have been so intense, that in the throws of my sickness I've pleaded for the Lord to sustain the baby. Praise the Lord for zofran!! I won't dare say I'm out of the woods, but today was a fantastic day and I'm SO grateful. I'm also eternally grateful to my dear, sweet hubby! But that will be another post. He needs a post all his own for the hubby of the year award!

On a side note, have I told you I'm a worrier? Well, it's something I really pray against...OFTEN! So, two great scriptures that I've clung to. The first sent to me by my friend Ebe (read her blog, be blessed and pray for their new bundle on the way!). The other the Lord gave me one night and it's been a great prayer. I hope if you also find yourself worrying that you'll find comfort in the Price of Peace.

I'll update more tomorrow...

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

Psalm 16
"Keep me safe, O God, for in You I take refuge.
I said to the Lord, 'You are my Lord; apart from You I have no good thing.'
As for the saints who are in the land, they are the glorious ones in whom is all my delight.
The sorrows of those will increase who run after other gods. I will not pour out their libations of blood or take up their names on my lips.
Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.
I will praise the Lord, who councils me, even at night my heart instructs me.
I have set the Lord always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body will also rest secure,
because you will not abandon me to the grave, nor will you let you Holy One see decay.
You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand."

Wiggle Worm!

Today we went for our 8 week appointment. It was a really great appointment! ...despite the fact that Dr. H is a HUGE Georgia Tech fan and confirmed he was "certain it was a baby yellow jacket he saw on the ultrasound". It totally made Curtis' day!

He also confirmed that we only have one. Our other little guy didn't make it, but Dr. H assured us that it was totally normal to see that this early on. Apparently, a lot of women become pregnant with twins and loose one early. But that little guy is in heaven and has lots of friends there!

BUT, we do have one SUPER, healthy, cute little baby! It's crazy to feel so much love for this little sweetie already, but I'm totally head over heals and can't wait until April! We're so thankful! The ultrasound was such a needed boost. I've been really, really sick. It's hard to actually feel pregnant in those moments. I'm definitely not complaining!! There's never been a better reason to be sick!

The baby was so active today! It wiggled all over the place, waving it's little arms and kicking it's little baby legs. It was really magical and such an overwhelming relief to know that it's doing great despite how I feel!

Thank you for all your prayers and sweet emails! It has really been so touching and overwhelming to know that people are interceding on our behalf. I promise I'm planning to write back some of you, but I've had a hard time getting too far from the bathroom! Yay for babies and answered prayers! We're totally blessed and humbled by our little baby blessing!

We go back in four weeks...

Our almost 9 week old wiggle worm! I can't wait to kiss on that big ole belly!

We Interrupt This Marriage To Bring You...

...Football Season!!

If only we pulled for the same team! Oh well. It's fun anyway. As you guys might remember, we are the ultimate "House Divided" -- Georgia/Georgia Tech. Should be interesting when the baby gets here to see what it wears on game day! I'm seriously going to have to enlist someone to make "baby divided" clothes. As it stands now, even what collar the dog wears has rules. Because Tech was ranked higher the Georgia, by some fluke, Lilly started the season off in her Tech collar. Funny thing is, she's been taking it off. Have I told you lately how much I love this dog?? Tonight she proudly sported red and black and pulled for her fellow dawgs!! Great game!

Thursday night, Curtis and I ventured downtown for the Georgia Tech vs. Clemson game. I wasn't sure I'd be able to make the game because I've been really sick. Yay for babies!! But I had a much needed good night. We started the night off at The Varsity and ate dinner. I got a cheeseburger and a hot dog. Let me interrupt this story by telling you that I do not eat hot dogs! No way. It has probably been 20+ years since I tried one...and hated it. But for whatever reason, I could not get hot dogs off the brain! So I ate one before the game (the burger was totally a no go). It was so freakin' good! The bun was so soft and yummy...ummmm! All I thought about the whole game was "I hope we get out of here before 11:30 p.m. so I can get another hot dog on the way home!" And I did...and it was fabulous!! Please do not post what is in a hot dog. That is why I did not eat them! The real bonus was that I had no ill side affects!

Thursday's game was fun. As strange/different as that school is, they have some fantastic school spirit! It's really insane. And Buzz is really hilarious. He's like a "little gangsta" in yellow in black. Too funny.

I had to post this video! So, so funny. They played it at half-time and the crowd went wild. These guys "The GTG's" (the whitest, nerdiest rappers you'll ever see) do Georgia Tech rap songs. Big cheese! No doubt about it. But watch buzz...so funny.



Speaking of our little "buzzdawg"... we have an appointment on Monday to confirm if we have twins or if we have a singleton! Please pray for good strong heart beats! I'll post an update Monday after...

Praise the Lord!

He settles the barren woman in her home as the happy mother of children. Praise the Lord! Ps. 113:9

Clap your hands, all you nations; shout to God with cries of joy. How awesome is the Lord Most High, the great King over all the earth! Ps. 47:1-2

I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. Psalm 40:1

"...now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine...to Him be the glory..."~Ephesians 3:20-21

I’m pregnant!

I can’t even believe I’m writing this post. We’ve prayed so hard for this day when we would be able to share with the world about God’s great blessing, but I could never fully envision it. Regardless, it’s here.

We found out Sunday, August 16, after some hounding by our friends Ashly and Denny to take a test. They faithfully called every morning for four days pleading with us to test. No worries because I did that to her with her sweet miracle Macy Brooks (if you have not seen this sweet baby click on their link...you are in for a treat!). ;) We finally gave in and got a test Saturday night; though, only one from the Dollar Store. I assumed it would be negative, like all the other ones I’ve taken over the past two years, so I wasn’t willing to spend a lot of money.

Sunday morning I took it convinced it was negative and even thought, “figures”. One more glance and I thought I saw two lines. No, that can’t be. I’m hallucinating. I held it up to the bathroom window and there they were – two lines. I flew downstairs, “Curtis!! Look at this! What do you see??” “Two lines…what does that mean?” “Typically it means you’re pregnant! [Looks of shock…] Hurry and go get an expensive test! …the one that says 'pregnant' or 'not pregnant'!” He came back and sure enough, “pregnant”.

These have been some pretty surreal days! We can’t even wrap our minds around this overwhelming blessing. Curtis and I immediately prayed and cried, thanking our sweet Father for entrusting us with this huge blessing.

We went today and heard the sweetest sound, a sweet baby heartbeat. It was so fantastic! First, it was great to see a baby on the ultrasound screen rather than an empty womb. Beyond that, those little beats were so symbolic of God's steady faithfulness to us throughout all of this -- so strong and steady. They were truly the sounds of life! My heart has longed to hear that.

Fun story, when they looked on the screen she thought she might see two babies. Yay! I've always wanted twins. However, we won't know for sure for a couple more weeks. One of the sacks was smaller and it may develop on to be totally normal and healthy or it could be what they call a "vanishing twin". Regardless, we have been abundantly blessed.

I'll be seven weeks on Thursday. I fully realize it's early and there are a lot of weeks to come. But friends, God has overwhelmed us with a perfect gift and we just want the world to know how blessed and humbled we feel by this sweet gift. Sure a lot can happen, but God is in control and we are trusting Him. And we're just going to celebrate everyday we're given with this baby bean!

Please join with us in praising God! Truly, we serve a mighty God who longs to show His love for us -- in His perfect time. This is not about great doctors, good medicine or a mere coincidence. This is all because of God and for His glory!

Also, please pray with us for the health and wellness of this baby or babies!! I'll keep you posted on what's going on. I'm due April 21, 2010! Yay for spring!

This is our sweet baby. That's the tiny yolk sack that looks like a little fin. It will go away in a few weeks.

This one is so great! The two white lines coming off the baby is the heart. Yay! And below is the heart beat. Don't you love heart beats?!

For this God is our God for ever and ever; He will be our guide to the end. Ps. 47:14

But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds. Ps. 73:28

Taking hold of that for which Christ took hold of me...

During this struggle to become pregnant, find out why we haven't yet and get on the road to possible conception, I can honestly say (by God's grace) that I have consistently tried to find the 'reason' for this present pain. My attitude might not have been right, but I strived towards it never the less. I'm not talking about chasing after the 'why's' because I have realized more completely that God is God and the why's simply are due me. What I'm talking about is more of the lesson or concept He is trying to teach me. How is He trying to refine me? What key is He trying to get me to take hold of?

Let me assure you, I've read tons of Christian books, listened to countless sermons, searched the scriptures digging for what it was specifically that He wanted me to take hold of. While they have all helped, nothing came through as "this is it!"...until two Sundays ago.

Joy! Not to be mistaken with happiness. No. My 'key' to survival is going to being joy -- His joy!

The other night, I could not sleep. I got up, went downstairs and spent the next hour or so reading and re-reading Philippians. During that time, the word came alive. The Holy Spirit spoke through those passages so plainly! It was amazing!

I have to tell you, I have experienced peace unexplainable over these last couple of weeks. Nothing has changed by way of our infertility 'news'. What has changed, however, is my outlook.

I used to read Philippians 4:12-13, ...

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength."

...and think, Paul is not human. Yes, he suffered but content in all things?? Not possible.

Now, however, I seem to be getting it. It's like the light finally came on. I hear what you might be thinking, "maybe this struggle wasn't that hard after all" or "see, you just needed to relax and trust God".

No friends. This struggle is as hard as it's ever been. Need I remind you that in November we will clinically have been trying to have a baby for 3 l-o-n-g, HARD, trying years? Need I remind you that if, like most couples, we got pregnant within 8 months of trying we would have a two year old? That's crazy talk and nearly impossible to wrap my head around.

I honestly believe that infertility and the loss of a child has to be the heaviest burden! Proverbs 13:12 explains it better than I could. "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled in a tree of life." It's heart sick.

The difference is that I realize now more than ever, when I surrendered my life to Christ -- whether I realized it or not -- I also surrendered my plans, my dreams, my hopes, my comfort zone, my striving for things my way, my opinion, my desire to 'help' God accomplish my will for my life. It's simply not about me anymore! It's His plans, His purposes, His desires, His glory. Sure, I can try to take hold of those things again -- which I sadly do on a regular basis -- but it's all for nothing. That 'old me' is gone and the sooner I get on-board with God's plan the better!

It's Philippians 1:6 alive and well..."He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ." Have you wondered what that means exactly? When you surrendered your life to the Lord, He has been refining you and making you more like Him.

The bottom line is that I'm telling you flat out that I now have joy in this journey. No, I'm not happy. I'm joyful. Why? Because I've been broken and allowed to finally see all the ways He is alive and dwelling within me. I look back and see His faithfulness. He has bound our marriage together with His love and bonded us closer than we ever have been in all these years.

This treacherous road, at times, has, as Paul wrote, in Phil. 1:12 "has really served to advance the gospel." At least in my life and my marriage. The joy is abounding in seeing that God is good despite my trials. And, His plan will always end better than mine.

So I have to ask you, friend, do you have this joy? Is He alive and well, dwelling in you and faithfully completing the work He started in you so long ago? Can you look back and see His past faithfulness and rejoice for His presence in the pain? I'm not talking about rejoicing for the pain. Who could do that? Not even Jesus rejoiced to be crucified. What He did do was rejoice in submitting to His Father's will. Obedience at any cost.

If this is not in you, I am telling you that this joy can be yours if you'll surrender to His calling on your life. Having a baby is my Issac that He's calling me to sacrifice. Will He spare this longing? I don't know. I pray so.

Regardless, I am strongly intrigued to know this God whose perfect love says no. To "take hold of that for which Christ took hold of me". Are you following me? His love has never let go -- regardless of my actions -- His love has and will endure. But His love has also said no and yet, it's still perfect. I want to take hold of that and really know it.

If you are reading this blog and you are in the throws of a trial, I want to pray for you by name that your joy my be made complete in Him. You can share by commenting or emailing me (sarah.jefferson@comcast.net) or you can simply leave your name. Please allow me the pleasure of interceding for you! You don't have to register to post a comment. Just leave your name and/or your specifics and choose the anonymous option.

This joy is, in fact, contagious and I have to pass it on to you!!

Brit & Emily's Engagement Party

The happy couple! ...and someone walking in the picture...

Brit was in our wedding and we're super excited about their wedding in October.
The old married couple!

All the guys!
Jake was in town and got to come too. It was a lot of fun!

SGI '09

So, I started this post a long time ago and I'm just now publishing it on 7/30...

These are pictures from our annual beach trip to St. George Island, Fla. with the Jefferson's.

Lilly on the ride down... loves to feel the wind in her ears!
Curtis and his dad catching sharks off the beach.

Nathan...being Nathan. He's got a lot of Curtis' personality in him.

First Mate on our fishing trip.

Here is Jefferson (Curtis' dad), Brian (Curtis' brother-in-law) and the captain. It was a pretty little boat, but a lot of fun!

Curtis with a flounder. So ugly!

Me with my Spanish Mackerel...believe it or not, I caught the biggest one and it's not pictured here. Holding one live fish was enough for me!

Funny story, Curtis and I roasted our lips on the fishing trip. So much so, that we woke up the next morning and our lips were swollen! We looked like we had injections done. It was SO funny!!

Jefferson's Spanish Mackerel was a close second!

Me

Happy Lilly! I love that she looks like she's smiling.

Up to no good!

My lovie

Curtis and his dad

St. George Lighthouse: They just rebuilt the original lighthouse that fell. We all hiked to the top. It's the best view of the island!

Happy puppies!

Curtis, Lilly and me

SGI '09!

Pics From Jake's Graduation

War re-enactment... Not sure why they thought that would be a good idea.

Beautiful statue at the new museum.

This is the brand new museum at Fort Benning. Jake's class was the first to graduate there.

Turning Blue ceremony